Dancer gets valuable tips from Grover.

In 1963, Grover played Debbie Reynolds brother in MGM's "The Unsinkable Molly Brown." Great choreography by Peter Gennaro.

WHAT AM I DOING TO MYSELF?

Grover,

I need your help. I'm a well-trained 17-year-old dancer and all it takes to bring me down is a little criticism about my dancing. In an instant, I can go from "Myra the Marvelous" to "Myra the Miserable." Not good, right? Here's what worries me most…the disasters are never about important stuff.

For example... a few days ago, a girl teased me about struggling to pick up steps. It bothered me for hours. I am a little slow. It made me think I'll never get through a real audition. I was almost ready to ditch dancing altogether. Yesterday, I woke up thinking the from a dancer I barely knew and if the truth were told, her ability to pick up steps wasn't much better than mine. So, why did I do that to myself? Could I have ignored the remark? Sure, I could have. But did I? No, no, no! Doubtful little Myra had to stir the pot until she felt miserable. Messes like this happen to me all the time. How can I get a grip on myself?

Myra

Dear Miserable One,

You seem to know exactly what's going on. You know it's you who's allowing one casual remark to bring you down. You know it's you who wakes up the next morning feeling the remark wasn't all that bad. You're definitely "on" to yourself. Listen to your own words ("doubtful little Myra stirred the pot until she felt miserable"). That doesn't sound like a person who's going to cave in every time someone criticizes her. Most self-doubters blame others for causing the problem and never look at their own contribution to the mess they find themselves in. They're usually stuck where they feel safest (feeling victimized?) and don't really want to change. You, on the other hand, are ready and strong enough to let go of a habit that's getting in your way.

How can you get a grip on yourself? You already have. Maybe you can shorten the time it takes to realize it wasn't so bad. You could also remind yourself that criticism isn't always a bad thing. We can grow from it as easily as be brought down by it. It's all about the way we choose to react. Also, in case you didn't think of it, no one is stopping you from getting help with your ability to pick up steps quicker. One good way is take extra classes (ones that are out of your comfort zone) where duplicating the moves will challenge you. At first, it'll be rough, but after a few weeks, you could easily find your self picking up all forms of dance much faster. Other options include: In class, choose to learn combos from different positions in the room (identify the position that works best for you) and stick to it. Taking more classes from teachers you don't know will help you adapt to different choreographic styles. Research more solutions by watching these vids that are available to members:

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